August 30, 2021

Mom’s lifelong friend asked me the other day whether she should continue visiting with her. They’ve had a longstanding appointment to play cards and catch up on Thursday afternoons. My mom’s friend now says that mom always seems to be too tired to visit, and has been short with her at times. She still loves mom but isn’t sure that mom even wants her there to spend time with her. Is this common with Alzheimer’s disease? What should I tell my mom’s friend? -Trixie M.

My advice would be to continue the visits, but modify the circumstances. Afternoons can be a tough time of day for people with dementia. A morning visit might find your mom more receptive. The card game may have become too difficult for her and she doesn’t like to say so. Trying a simpler game or a different activity might be more successful.

Recent Mondays with Mimi

Do I keep photos on a digital picture frame if the dementia viewer does not recognize them any longer? -Sue L.

February 28, 2024

I took 24/7 care of my husband until he passed in April. He was a gentle man clean until the end. He told me that he loved me about two weeks before he died. He had only one word answers after that. Is it normal for a dementia person not to have any expression of face? I never knew if I was giving him the kind of care he wanted. I did everything, and he did not complain. He was never in pain. He just quietly slipped away. I just worry with the question, “Did I do enough?” “Was I doing it correctly?” “Did he know that I loved him dearly?” I had hospice in four days a week and we/I kept him clean, dry, warm, well fed, etc. He was just such an appreciative husband for over 53 years. – Bev S.

January 26, 2024

My mother was diagnosed with dementia a little more than two years ago. She is starting to lose interest in a lot of the hobbies that have kept her busy in her retirement years, like gardening and book reading. I think she finds these activities more difficult to do now because of her physical decline, and maybe she is less confident. How can I help her get some enjoyment out of doing things she’s always loved to do. Any advice? – Toby W.

December 13, 2023

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