Caregiving is an enormous job, and you do need breaks. Below are some resources in our local area (Rochester, New York) that can assist you in selecting a provider for respite care. Your hesitancy to leave your husband alone is understandable as his desire to have only you as his caregiver. However, as his dementia progresses and his needs grow, it is unrealistic to maintain this situation. To begin to prepare for a possible future transition or even to explore respite care options before you will need them, you might want to arrange some tours so you can get a feel for different places. Knowing your options is always preferable to finding yourself in an emergency situation and making decisions at a stressful time.
Keep in mind that some of the potential respite providers you find at the links below may have minimum and/or maximum stay requirements and other criteria for respite services, so be sure to ask:
TheElderPages.com is a source of local support services available through the Greater Rochester Area Partnership for the Elderly. They have lists of respite care providers, both facility-based and home-based.
The Alzheimer’s Association is also a resource for available services. They are sometimes able to provide some limited respite hours as well. They are also a good source for local support groups.
They have a 24/7 Helpline: 1-800-272-3900
Lifespan is a great agency for information on local services, advocacy for older adults, information workshops and classes.
Good luck and I hope you get a well-deserved rest!