If you are caring for a person living with dementia at home, Ask Mary is the place to get your questions answered and to learn about helpful resources. In her role as a skilled care services professional at St. John’s, Mary provides care and support for people living with dementia and their families. Check this page on St. John’s Online Dementia Resource Center to see Mary’s answers to submitted questions.

I come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. What are some of the strategies I can use to help with this? -Debbie C.

October 29, 2025

Caring for a parent or loved one with dementia is tough enough. When you add in multiple adult children (i.e., siblings) who may hold differing opinions about what is “best,” the situation can become emotionally charged or even harmful to the relationships of those involved. Disagreements about decisions, roles, and responsibilities add significantly to overall stress and can erode both relationships and care quality for the person living with dementia. Online at St. John’s Dementia Resource Center, we offer six strategies for helping families, as well as a template for putting together a family member agreement for dementia caregiving. Navigating family dynamics are challenging. We hope this helps.

I took 24/7 care of my husband until he passed in April. He was a gentle man clean until the end. He told me that he loved me about two weeks before he died. He had only one word answers after that. Is it normal for a dementia person not to have any expression of face? I never knew if I was giving him the kind of care he wanted. I did everything, and he did not complain. He was never in pain. He just quietly slipped away. I just worry with the question, “Did I do enough?” “Was I doing it correctly?” “Did he know that I loved him dearly?” I had hospice in four days a week and we/I kept him clean, dry, warm, well fed, etc. He was just such an appreciative husband for over 53 years. – Bev S.

January 26, 2024

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