This is hard, but it happens a lot. Resist the urge to say “You are home,” because arguing will only make her feel worse. Probably she isn’t feeling comfortable, or “at home” in that moment, and wants to be where she will feel better. Sometimes leaving a place for a while and coming back is helpful. You might try asking some questions to see where “home” is to her right then. It might be the last place she lived, or where she lived as a child. Maybe it’s somewhere you lived as a young couple. That can give you a clue to what she is missing, and offers you some ideas of ways to make her feel better. What are some of the things about that particular “home” that she loved? Is she missing her parents and wants to feel safe? Offer her reassurance that she is cared for and protected. Use opportunities to “segue” into a familiar, pleasant subject. “I remember your mom made the best chocolate cake. I wonder if we have any chocolate cake. Let’s go make some coffee and see.” Talk about the little kitchen in your first house, maybe dig up some old pictures, or play some old music from that time period. When all else fails, focus on the feelings, and let her know you’re there for her. “I know you don’t feel at home right, now, and I’m sorry. Can I do anything to make you feel better?”
Menu
